Nobody ever sat me down at 24 and explained that the career I chose simply to pay the bills would end up shaping the woman I would become- but I wish someone had.
By the time my career really began, I already had children, or they were arriving just as I was getting started. I didn’t have the luxury of spending years trying to “find myself.” There were mouths to feed, bills to pay, and responsibilities that didn’t care whether I’d discovered my passion. There just wasn’t time to test the waters, I had to dive in head first.
People often ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s something I asked my 12 year old grandson the other day. Looking back, I think we are asking the wrong question.
A better one might be:
What kind of life do you want to build?
When you have a family depending on you, your first career choice isn’t always about doing something you really love. It’s about a job that offers stability. Mine certainly was.
I chose an industry that could support my family. I wasn’t chasing a dream. I was chasing a pay cheque, a mortgage approval, a stocked fridge, and the hope that maybe one day life wouldn’t feel quite so tight. Buying a house wasn’t easy. Nothing about those years was easy.
Every dollar was accounted for, there wasn’t anything left over. Every decision mattered for me, and my family.
Every meeting, every client conversation, every negotiation carried the weight of more than just my own future.
Then something unexpected happened. I became good at what I did. Like truly, really good- and I don’t just say that to boost my own ego.
It didn’t happen overnight. It happened over decades. There’s a BIG difference.
People often believe successful careers begin with a desire. I think many begin with necessity. The hunger for it often comes later. Not because the work changes, but because mastery has a way of creating its own satisfaction.
Competence breeds confidence.
Confidence creates opportunity.
Opportunity creates purpose.
I don’t know if I would have chosen this industry if money hadn’t mattered so much in the beginning. But somewhere along the way, it became part of who I am. I became the expert.
Hard Work Gets You in the Door. Wisdom Decides Which Doors to Open.
When I was younger, I believed that if I simply worked harder than everyone else, everything would eventually work out.
Sometimes it did. Sometimes it didn’t. And sometimes it was just luck that it worked out.
Hard work is the entry fee. It isn’t the destination.
I wish someone had told me that working harder isn’t always the same as growth. Some people spend decades trying to climb the corporate ladder. Others spend decades climbing the wrong mountain. In the end, it’s a journey.
The goal isn’t just to work harder. It’s to work smarter, build relationships, and create results that give you a life that in time gives you choices.
Every Decade Changes the Lesson
In my twenties, I learned how to survive.
In my thirties, I learned responsibility.
In my forties, I learned to ask better questions.
In my fifties, I began learning discernment.
And now, I appreciate that the greatest lessons never really stop coming. Every decade taught me something my younger self couldn’t have understood, and I wasn’t in the place to even know that I would one day I would.
When I was younger, I thought intelligence meant having the answers. Today, I think intelligence is asking better questions.
Asking the right question uncovers opportunities. The right question saves time, and avoids costly mistakes.
The right question changes negotiations, relationships, and sometimes the direction of your life.
The older I get, the less interested I am in being right and the more interested I am in understanding along with the wins/losses. Why did we, or didn’t we, and what should we do now? How do we learn from this, move forward and not make the same mistakes in the future, Curiosity has become more valuable than certainty.
Intelligence Isn’t Knowing Everything
One of the greatest lessons my experience has taught me is that I don’t have to be the smartest person in the room. In fact, I don’t want to be.
I’ve learned to surround myself with people whose strengths complement my own. People with more energy.
People who understand technology better. People who communicate differently.
People who challenge my thinking instead of simply agreeing with me. That’s not weakness. That’s leadership.
The smartest people I know aren’t experts in everything. They’re lifelong learners who know who to ask, when to listen, and aren’t afraid to admit they don’t know.
Your Health Isn’t a Reward for Success. It’s What Makes Success Possible
For years I believed sacrificing sleep, working through illness, skipping vacations, and carrying stress was simply part of providing for a family.
Eventually I realized that taking care of my health wasn’t selfish, it was part of my responsibility. My family didn’t need the busiest version of me.
They needed the healthiest version of me. That meant making my health a priority, physically and mentally. It meant surrounding myself with the right support at home and at work, learning to share the load, and understanding that asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
You can rebuild a business, which I have done several times now. Replacing your health is much harder.
Manipulation and Negotiation Are Not the Same Thing
This lesson was a hard one, and it took years. Negotiation creates value. Manipulation takes it.
Some people negotiate with honesty. Others use urgency, a key component in recruitment deals!
Some use guilt. Some use charm. Some simply wear you down until saying yes feels easier than standing your ground.
Experience teaches you to recognize the difference. More importantly, it teaches you that “no” is a complete sentence.
One of the greatest sources of confidence isn’t making more money. It’s knowing you can walk away.
People Reveal Who They Are
After interviewing thousands of people and working with businesses for decades, I’ve learned something that took years to understand.
People usually tell you who they are. Sometimes with words. More often through patterns. How they treat the receptionist. Whether they keep small promises. How they speak about people who aren’t in the room. Whether they take responsibility or look for someone else to blame.
Character rarely surprises you. We make excuses for people, or simply ignore what we hoped wasn’t true.
Experience teaches you to pay attention the first time. Your gut instinct is usually right.
Character Never Goes Out of Style
I’ve watched technology transform almost every part of business.
The tools have changed. They continue to change everyday. The pace has changed. The expectations have changed. But character hasn’t.
Looking someone in the eye. Offering a firm handshake. Keeping your word.
Showing up when you said you would. Listening and simply waiting for your turn to speak.
Treating everyone—from the newest employee to your biggest client—with the same respect. These aren’t old-fashioned habits.
They’re timeless ones. Trust is still built one conversation, one action at a time.
No app, no email, and no artificial intelligence can replace genuine human connection.
Success Looks Different Than I Imagined
When I was 24, success meant making enough. Then it meant buying a home. Then paying the bills without worrying every month. Then creating security for my family.
Today, success feels different. It’s choosing who I work with. It’s having enough experience to recognize manipulation before it costs me.
It’s booking pilates, or a walk and committing to it, even if work needs to be done.
It’s knowing when to negotiate and when to walk away. It’s helping younger people avoid mistakes I made.
It’s having choices.
If I Could Tell My 24-Year-Old Self One Thing…
Don’t panic because you haven’t found your calling.
Choose honest work. Become excellent at it. Don’t get complacent. Protect your integrity.
Learn how people think. Learn how money works. Not just how to earn it—but how to keep it, invest it, and let it work for you while you sleep. Learn how to negotiate. Learn to recognize manipulation before it costs you years.
Protect your health as fiercely as you protect your income.
Save earlier. Rest more.
Ask better questions. Ask for help sooner.
Surround yourself with people who make you better.
And never believe that intelligence means doing everything alone.
The career that begins as a way to pay the bills may quietly become the life you build.
Looking back over four decades, I don’t just see jobs, clients, contracts, or businesses.
I see children growing up.
I see birthdays I rushed to make after work.
I see nights spent wondering how the bills would get paid.
I see risks that were worth taking and others that taught me expensive lessons. I see incredible people who believed in me long before I believed in myself.
Most of all, I see that every difficult season prepared me for the next one.
If I only knew then what I know now, I probably wouldn’t have worked less, but I would have worried less. I would have trusted that character compounds just like money. That relationships will open more doors than resumes ever will.
That becoming exceptional is far more valuable than becoming impressive. That success isn’t something you arrive at one day—it’s something you quietly build through thousands of ordinary decisions.
And maybe the biggest lesson of all?
The career you choose to support your family may become the life you’re remembered for.
Sharlene Massie, CEO, About Staffing